Uchay Writes

In June I had the opportunity to travel to Nigeria with my family for a couple of weeks. The last time I had visited was in 2004. I was 4 so I’m classing this as my first proper time experiencing Nigeria.

We spent 2 days in Lagos, 3 days in Benin, 10 days in Obosi then back to Lagos for 2 days.

As soon as we touched down at the airport, the wave of heat hit me. You could already feel it as we were in the plane so I had already unzipped my hoodie and had my electric fan at hand. We stood forever at the ONE conveyor belt waiting for our luggage – there were 7 of us with a total of 21 luggage- we were very hungry and frustrated at that point. We had two huge trolleys to fit them all in.

I got a taster of the hustle and bustle of Lagos as soon as we stepped out the airport doors, cars beeping, people shouting, others trying to exchange naira, after a long delayed flight it was pretty overwhelming.

The next task was loading the mini van my uncle had hired to fit all of us and our luggage which they just about managed to fit. 

I will now list my observations of Nigeria which I thought were interesting.

1. Money

Money, money, money. Make sure you have plenty of cash because you will DEFINITELY need it. There is no such thing as someone just doing you a simple favour, you must pay for their kindness.

• First let’s talk about the arrival:

At the airport, you know those trolleys you usually get for free and someone might help you push? Yeah not in Nigeria. We had to pay for the big trolleys and then pay the guy who helped us push the trolley, and then paid the guys who helped load the mini van.

• Airports in general:

We took local flights to travel to Benin and Asaba, both of which we also paid for the trolleys and the people who helped, it’s the norm there. You could push the trolleys yourself but the airport workers would sometimes run to you saying ‘Please sir/ma let me help you’, just know you must have cash ready. I actually witnessed this happen to a white man at Asaba airport, the airport worker didn’t even ask him, he just said ‘let me push’, and that was that. 

• Anywhere and everywhere you must pay:

My uncle went to the toilet at the airport and the airport cleaner pointed where the toilet was. What did she want? Yes, she looked expectedly for some reward for pointing. Did she get any? No. 

My brother and cousin were going through customs. The workers at the airport could tell we came from abroad. My male relatives are tall and built, so their appearances were particularly appealing for them to ask for ‘something’. They did not oblige.

Bear in mind, none of these people never say the word money. They use the phrases of ‘Did you bring us something’, ‘Anything for me Ma/Sir’. Or they won’t say anything at all but linger and stare.

2. The Roads

Getting whiplash every time we left and came back from the house in Obosi was not fun. No smoothness whatsoever. We noticed that a couple of people had levelled some of the road in front of their house but then just stops and becomes bad again. That’s definitely the next thing we must do for the road leading up to our house. 

Speaking of house, our house is MASSIVE. My room is quadruple what my room in the UK is, with an ensuite, floor to ceiling wardrobes, plus a balcony. Now I need to start decorating my room, making it my own as right now there’s only my bed and 2 bedside drawers.

Even driving on roads through the city and villages there’d be large craters and pot holes that no car in the UK would survive or anyone would be able to drive through, but in Nigeria they’re used to driving on such diabolical road conditions. At least the motorway was smooth sailing.

3. Driving Etiquette

No such thing as sticking to your own lane, there was the constant blare of beeps as we drove, including my uncle who’d beep every few seconds. Over here, beeping is the last resort or if someone’s suddenly cut in front of you. In Nigeria, it’s a part of your normal, everyday drive. You overtake (even on supposed ‘one way roads’). Beep. Drive slow. Beep. Pedestrians in the road. Beep. Anything. Beep. I felt like the traffic lights were there for decoration too. You stop at the red light? Beep.

4. Checkpoints

When you’re driving you’ll come across checkpoints, either police, military or vigilantes – particularly if you’re travelling from one city to another. We counted how many checkpoints we went past when we drove from Benin to Obosi. 18. Some would be 30 seconds away from each other.

What happens at the checkpoint is dependent on what car you drive, how you look, and your attitude. My uncles drive nice, big cars, so when we’d get to the checkpoint we never stopped as they would just wave us to keep driving. At times when they would tell us to slow down and wind down the window to check, my uncle would acknowledge them and say ‘well done sir/chief’ and we’d just drive on.

I did get to witness some of the unfortunates who would have to pull over and get out of the car. But of course there is always a solution for their troubles. You’ve probably guessed it already. That’s right – MONEY. Seeing bribery and corruption right in front of my eyes was interesting to see. Seeing a quick flash of notes as they shook hands before it disappeared into their pockets.

5. Food

My parents cook a lot of traditional Nigerian dishes at home so I wasn’t expecting anything super new. My main love was the fruit. Fresh, ripe, sweet mangoes, pineapples and soursop were my favourites. Soursop in the UK is ridiculously expensive, my mum bought one for £20 I couldn’t believe it. But in Lagos my mum went out and bought a bag full of soursop for about N6000, which converts to around £3. My uncle took us to a food place in Benin called Genesis, which is where I discovered my love for asun which is peppered goat. We also went to another restaurant where I tried local rice for the first time. My mum made it recently and it was delicious!

I actually got sick of eating so much suya and it was one of the main foods I was soooo excited to indulge in. If you haven’t tried suya then you’re really missing out. We went to a suya shop called ‘University of Suya’ which is in Lagos. For those of you who don’t know what suya is, it’s grilled meat- could be chicken, goat, beef- which is seasoned in suya seasoning and served with fresh sliced onions.

Then we have the big boss. BREAD. There’s nothing better than fresh bread from the bakery. Sweet, soft, succulent, can literally eat it with anything or on it’s own. There was an evening where I just ripped a chunk off the loaf and drank it with a bottle of Fanta. Which brings me onto Fanta! Not that trashy stuff you get in Tesco. Proper Nigerian Fanta, which I also ended up getting tired of. Too much of anything isn’t good!

6. The People

I loved visiting my extended family. It was nice being able to see and be with them in person rather than on the phone. I was able to see my cousins, even meet new ones I’ve spoken or met before. My brother and I are lucky to have the family we have, especially our uncles who took every opportunity to spoil us.

In Benin we were able to drive past the Oba Palace, as well as go to our street. It was cool seeing our own street.

I found it funny how the store workers would treat us. Even if they were older than you they’d call you ‘Ma’ or ‘Sir’. My brother, cousin, and I found it quite suffocating at times. For example, we’d enter a clothing store and then all the workers would come asking if you need help, bringing you different items asking if you like them. Even if we said we were just looking around, they’d be close by. My favourite customer service experience is when we went to Cold Stone – an ice-cream shop- and when my order was ready the woman called out “this is for the fine aunty!”. For those who don’t know, ‘fine’ in this context means good-looking.

I also wasn’t expecting to see so many ‘influencers’. Whenever we’d go to the shopping mall, there’d always be a bunch of young people around my age filming or taking pictures, presumably for TikTok or Instagram.

Overall, I loved Nigeria! It was an amazing time and I’ve already made plans to go again next year.